Birdman (La Inesperada Virtud de la Ignorancia)

Birdman cleaned up at the Academy Awards for “Best Everything That Matters” this year. Even Michael Keaton won “Best Actor in a Musical or Comedy” at the Golden Globes. That’s unfortunate, since this movie is neither a musical, nor a comedy…

Birdman is film about a washed-up actor, played by Michael Keaton (Beetlejuice), who sinks all his money into a boring play in the hopes that it will re-ignite his career. He also thinks he’s a super hero. A super bird hero. A classic setup for some extra ordinary comic situations.

Unfortunately, this bird falls out the nest before it has a chance to fly. It may have been pushed out by its more funny bird siblings, namely, this bird, this bird, and definitely this bird.

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True Detective – Season 1

Home Box Office brings us another mini-series that fails to tickle the funny-bone. Fails to look at the funny-bone. Tries to imagine a funny-bone but thinks of boobs instead.

True Detective? Boo Detective, more like.

True Detective is an 8 part mini-series about two detectives, starring Matthew McConaughey (Tropic Thunder) and Woody Harrelson (Cheers, Kingpin). They spend their days bickering and driving, and also try to find a guy who likes antlers and killing people.

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Captain Phillips vs All is Lost, and why neither are as funny as Steamboat Willie

The very first Disney Animation was set on a boat. It stars Steamboat Willie, before he resorted to his stage name, Mickey Mouse. It might be the greatest thing you watch all year. It will be the trippiest, most mind-boggling form of animal-abuse-comedy you’ll ever see, unless you’re a drug addict who swings your cat above your head for fun, or you like making music by wringing a duck’s neck. Then I don’t approve of you.

Putting aside Steamboat Willie aside for a bit, let’s focus on the competitors: Captain Phillips vs All is Lost. Tom Hanks vs Robert Redford. The guy from Big vs the guy who paid Demi Moore to have sex with him. Tom Hanks is a tour de force in comedy… if we still lived in 1990. Robert Redford is a good looking guy. The comedy gene is often sacrificed for the good-looking gene…

Which film is funnier? Does Robert Redford’s one hander sink slower than Tom Hanks’ bore-fest? Is it possible to pick a winner amongst the losers? Of course! Comedy is nothing if not a competition, and today we’re going to pick a comedy champion amongst the also-rans.

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Gravity

A one-woman show called Gravity. Set in space; where there is no gravity, and no laugh track. Not a good start.

Sandra Bullock (The Proposal, Miss Congeniality 2: Armed and Fabulous) stars as Ryan Stone, a sad woman who gets stuck in space without a hope of returning to earth. She drifts around a lot, and talks a lot more. George Clooney (Spy Kids, South Park: Bigger, Longer & Uncut) also stars.

I can’t help feeling that this film would’ve been so much better if director Alfonso Cuarón had spent more time casting, and less time focusing on the stars. With a 1 hour and 30 minute running time, it’s the ideal length for a Stand-Up comedy special. Which is, essentially, what Gravity is. It’s 90 minutes of one person talking. Sandra Bullock is not a stand-up comedian. For the 90 minutes of her incessant gabbing, there are approximately 3 jokes. That’s 1 joke every 30 minutes. That’s hell.

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The Dallas Buyer’s Club

What do you get when you cross a skinny angry man , transvestites and drugs with… Aids? You get a mish-mash of disappointment that could’ve been so funny if everyone wasn’t dying of Aids.

Dallas Buyer’s Club is about a skinny guy, played by Matthew McConaughey, who loves to have sex with prostitutes. When he finds out he has Aids, he becomes a drug dealer. Dressing up in different disguises, he smuggles drugs across the border to sell to people who are also dying of Aids. He also becomes a nice guy.

I  didn’t mind this film. Matthew McConaughey is a good actor with great comic timing. Jared Leto co-stars, and he makes me laugh every time his parody rock band 30 Seconds to Mars write a new song. So why is the film such a comic failure?

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